Lightning flashes across the sky. Rain drums on the slate tiles of 1060 Dogwood Lane. A peel of thunder is echoed by a chorus of screams: eight frightened housemates hiding in their beds.
Little do they know the true terror waits with dawn. A new day, a new round of the Big Brother Cooking Tournament!
Day Two, Big Brother Cooking Tournament
Winners Roster:
Yesterday’s four winners, Latrice, Caesar, Kenyatta and Myra slept restfully, knowing that for this week at least, they are safe from elimination. The Hall of Shame hangs over the losers, Joss, Funtin, Margo and Bree. While both winners and losers will compete today, their hearts are set on very different goals. The winners dream of earning the luxurious and private HoH room, while the losers fight for the right to stay in the game!
Losers Roster:
But first a little update. Two housemates were caught schmoozing in the bathroom last night. He was captain of the football team and she’s from outer space. Is the Big Brother house the spark to ignite their love?
As the storm dies down in the wee small hours, a few of the housemates crawl from their beds. All that shaking in your bed makes for an empty stomach, it seems. While Myra and Latrice are content with leftovers, Bree decides to sneak in a little practise, and makes herself a plate of waffles. Considering her performance yesterday, one can hardly blame her.
The day brightens, sunny and still. Funtin entertains himself by playing with fire as the rest of the household wakes. Joss burns his breakfast and steals Bree’s leftovers instead. Finally it’s time for the first match of the day:
Knowing they are safe, Latrice and Caesar joke as they bake waffles. A squabbling Joss and Bree stand behind them, lowering their opinion of each other. Those waffles look mighty tempting, Latrice! But they’re only Normal Quality, and Caesar’s are exactly the same.
It’s to the tie-breaking foosball table for these two budding culinary champs.
While Latrice and Caesar duke it out, Kenyatta challenges Myra in a classic battle of red versus blue. There’s a little friendly banter as twin pots of mac and cheese boil away on the stove. Kenyatta jokes, “Knock knock.” Myra says, “What’s that smell? No, seriously, what’s that smell!”
Oh no – Myra’s mac and cheese looks more like mac and charcoal. And that’s not the only thing on fire. Funtin’s antics around the fireplace have triggered the alarm. What’s even more alarming: Funtin is alight!
As Funtin rushes to the shower to extinguish the flames that have alighted upon his posterior, Bree and Margo rush in to douse the burning floorboards. Margo steps in too close, and is immolated in a fiery haze. Latrice and Caesar, rushing from the foosball table, whip out their extinguishers and shower Margo in foam.
She’s left standing, well – see for yourself!
The housemates wander back into the kitchen. Myra and Bree, exhausted from a night of poor sleep and the rush of the fire, collapse in their bunks.
But the challenge doesn’t stop just because a few people caught on fire. Latrice wins her way to foosball victory. She’s now cemented herself a place in tomorrow’s winners’ final. Congratulations, Latrice. This week you are safe from eviction! Unless of course everyone else goes down in (literal) flames…
Will Joss’s extra practise this morning help him overcome the mountain of man that is Funtin? Will Funtin’s recent brush with death shake his resolve to win?
Apparently not! Maybe it’s Funtin’s new-found caution with flames that keeps him from burning the food. But he not only produces a Normal mac and cheese, he produces a Nice bowl! Poor Joss is left coughing in the fumes of yet another Horrifying Quality bowl of mac and cheese.
We now know the two housemates who will be competing for the top place tomorrow: Latrice and Kenyatta. While Joss will be competing with the loser of the next match not to be evicted. Welcome to the Hall of Shame, Joss. Make yourself at home. Mwhaha.
At first glance, neither competitor has the edge in this final match of the day. Bree is exhausted, and must work through her fatigue, one eye on victory, the other on the pot of mac and cheese. Margo, singed and nearly naked, must see past the memory of almost burning alive – if she can see at all through her blackened glasses.
Margo takes an early head start. The way she carries the tray of ingredients with such poise surely indicates her near success. But cautious Bree takes her time, knowing her fatigue may lead to easy mistakes.
No! No, it can’t be! Both Margo and Bree have produced Horrifying Quality mac and cheese! The bowl is as charred as Margo!
You know what this means, sports fans. To the foosball table!
Margo wins, by a hair of a whisker. She’s safe for this week. At least, from eviction. Who knows what else Funtin will do to her. Bree, however, will suffer the indignation of the Hall of Shame. At least now she’ll have a reason to do all those household chores she adores.
Join us again tomorrow in the clash of four brave souls! Latrice versus Kenyatta for the honour of being Head of House. Joss and Bree for the dishonour of being the first evictee from the Big Brother house!
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Not Quite Reality TV 